handjob tips. give me some.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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