I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
