What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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