I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
