is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
