My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
