Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
