I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
