its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
