they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize