you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
love makes seman taste better
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
