we were pretty classy up until the second keg
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
