Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize