and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
