i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
