Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
