Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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