Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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