Don't you send me to vm
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
