There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dicks are not precious.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
