I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
