how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
