that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
