Screwed.edu
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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