and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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