I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
