idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My vagina is very pro this idea
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
