Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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