If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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