Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
