we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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