apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They have beer where we have blood.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
