I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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