You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
