good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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