when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
