i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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