I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
