I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
