it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
