She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just forgot I was standing up.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
