So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize