So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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