i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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