He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
