I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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