While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
