kristin has been a bad kristin
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
