You work out of a Hotel?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
