Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
