It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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