He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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