Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
