I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Im part way to drunk.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All the doctor said was why
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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