that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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