just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
