i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
