You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize