I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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