Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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