I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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