You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
