so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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