Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
