dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You're a waste of cheezeits
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
