i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
this will be a night to untag.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
