Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
