plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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