babies were throwing up all over the place
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
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