..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize