I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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