doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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