did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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