Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
